WHAT ON EARTH

AM I REALLY AS DEPRESSING AS THIS WHOLE BLOG SOUNDS?

NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

YES I AM SHOUTING!

LOL!

It just so happens I like to unlease emo-poetricities (no idea what that means O.o) on you guys.... my.... non-existent, invisible, never-protesting, uncaring readers =P

I love you guys. *hugs the dust*

Poetic Melancholia

The lies hit hard
arrows, pounding through my skull.
I welcome the darkness
as my thoughts turn to their pull.
Recognizing what comes at me,
the power to stop it is gone.
His working, gnarled hands, encompassing,
I see grabbing hold of what I cling
most dear: a ransom
for my life, my mind, and my soul.
"Surrender," the word drips
with malice, spilled-blood, and hate.
He twists my very desires and trips
my motivation and drive.
The battering worsens,
I am bruised,
forgotten,
but alive.
Left to fight another fight
oh, give me
one
more
round.

O! Despair

These words fall on blind eyes... or maybe they're just eyes that aren't really there.

Tears taste bad, never sweet. I hate that salt in my mouth...

and my mood is forever a fragile glass thread... shattered at the slightest mistake or word.

I miss writing so much, maybe I should turn emo and start doing it again?

no one would care =P


I'm still praisin' my Lord by the way. He never forsakes me, or makes mistakes, or fails to turn my sour mood into His glory. Yeah, maybe I give in to Satan's attacks when I feel this way, but I never LOSE the battle. the devil can only wish =)

bye now

Psychology, School, and Serving God

I'm pretty kinda sure that I think I really like my psychology professor =D

Not only does he make me laugh in class (at his stories, mannerisms, etc), but just LOOK at what he writes about!!! (And this is just ONE example! I encourage you to look at some of his other posts.)

http://thequestforagoodlife.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/the-experience-of-the-sacred/

Now, I may not agree with exactly everything he says, but I think I can learn a lot from him, even outside of the classroom. This is also because, I think, school means more to me than just my education. I'm not doing it because I 'have to.' I'm doing it because it's part of the steps on my walk with God. We need to be equipped, right? This is also why I believe apologetics, Bible studies, church, and devotions are doubly-important. This is our spiritual food. When we are thirsty for more of Him, we go to Him, right? I do. Without that, that feeding of the Christian worldview, Christian influences to encourage me and lift me up in my relationship with Christ, I would probably fall. I'm not perfect. I'm only human.

However, this isn't to say that we should abandon school and just go to church for the rest of our lives. Goodness, no! Not only did God place us high schoolers (and college students) in school to learn about the world, but He placed us there to reach out. And, in learning about everything in the world, we are better ABLE to reach out - not only because we're there, among them, interacting with them and given opportunities to share Jesus and let His light shine, but we can relate to them, work beside them, know what they know in addition to the gospel message.

I have so many thoughts that they're all running together here, and this is probably more confusing than I meant it to be, but the point that I want to get across is that [wowwwwwww. Wow. Okay, honestly, I did not mean to steal this from Pastor Jordan, from last night =P]. It's not the point, it's the purpose. Why we're here. Because I'm not here for myself. I am here to serve the King.

Thus, I open myself up to His teaching and try to look at everything through His eyes, and not my own. I may not be living my full potential. I may not be doing everything I could be doing. And that is where I open up my actions for God to work through them. But I AM taking everything in, putting it parallel to God's viewpoint (2 Corinthians 10:5, guys!), and I'm serving Him.

I leave you with this, and I pray God blesses your week! (whoever you are that may just happen to read this).

Sarah
(Shae)

BWAHAHA

After quite the most annoying mini-depression today O.o

I'VE DONE IT!

My words have returned.

In full force.

And now I'm REALLY DROWNING.

Although not quite.

So if you read this...

give me a mannerism, quirk, or silly WHATEVER that ANY person could EVER have! I need to make a bizarre character, but not without your help =P Hey, I may be famous one day, or publish this novel, and you'll read it and go YEAH THAT WAS MY IDEA OH YEAH WIN BABY!

Or not.

But even so! I'd veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy much appreciate it.

The word count is moving quicklyyyyy

but not quickly enough.

TA TA FOR NOW

We're On Our Way

Hey guys

so yeah, my last post was like - dun dun dun - depressingly poetic/epic fail, but oh well.

NaNo's not turning out how I wanted it to, but I'm pulling through this, sitting in my cold basement with freezing fingers and a headache trying to put all the ideas in my head into one piece of work

and failing.

3,500 words as of now, roughly.

cheer me on.

and, I need names, characters, mainly. Give me a name, some random mannerisms and quirks and perhaps features and I'll use them somehow. It would help immensely. You can't write a story without characters.

and at this point - I need lots.

NEVER ALONE!
Shae =P

The Call of NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo once again approaches...

its fangs bared, ready to sink in my brain and latch onto all my ideas and remaining sanity that I've stored up in the past 11 months since it left me to die last year...

its claws stretching, reaching, not having to go too far before they find me and guide my fingers across these keys over, and over again... never stopping, never relenting...

its a massive shadow looming above me, a raincloud that will last for 30 days. the rain has not yet begun.

and here I wait, under a scraggly tree... whose branches are too small and weak to shade me from its harsh downpour...

it's calling me already, tugging at my mind and forcing it to bring forth ideas that have lied there for too long,

frightening, terrifying,

a black hole, draining my energy.

and my mind that has been caught up in poetry for the past two months now is forced to don a new mindset, one of prose and words and words and words after words after words.

I will be soaked, drowned in those words. I will be cold, drained of sanity and inspiration. And I will be silent.

writing.

though my mind screams.

care to be in my novel?